Updates: New Art, New Conventions

I'm alive!

So my new job took some time to settle into, but I think I've got it now. As promised, here's some new artwork!

Andromeda

First up is this thing. I thought I was done with it the last time I showed it but it turns out that I was not. There was a lot more that I could do and so, I did. I'm much happier with it now and it has turned out to be a great seller at the comic conventions I've attended so far this year.

I still never added a background because I wanted to give the sense that she IS the universe. I have been thinking of doing more ladies along these lines but I haven't really had the inspiration yet to do more.

Owls for Grandma

Next is, "Owls for Grandma," named so because that's exactly who I did it for. She's not really my grandmother, she's my cousin's grandma, but she just enjoys being everyone's grandma. She had a rough year last year, a lot of deaths in the family.

I had told her a few years back that I would paint her an owl and I just never did. Truthfully, tried a few times to digitally paint her an owl and it never turned out right. Maybe I was hard on myself I dunno.

Eventually I bought a wood board and decided to do this with acrylic paint instead and that turned out to be a good decision. What started out as only being one owl, turned into three when I realized that eastern screech owls were really tiny and the hollow in the tree was a little large to put just one in there.

Oliver Lucas: The Staff of Moses

When all was said and done, it's not the most amazing masterpiece ever but I am happy with it and my grandma is too!

to the left here is a finished commission done by myself and my usual partner in crime, Nga Nguyen. (Her lines, my colors as usual) I went to a small one day show in Richmond VA, where I met local author Andrew Linke. We are currently working on book cover number two!

This was a pretty ambitious piece with all the hieroglyphics in the background. Not to mention that making something look old and a bit distressed is somewhat difficult to do in photoshop. sometimes your textures tend to come out too perfect to look right.

Anyway, I hope to have the second cover done by mid September. Nga is always super punctual with her work, but me? Not so much. Just another something I have got to work on. I need to make myself work more. I run on inspiration far too much.

Clockwork Koi

 Next! "Clockwork Koi" I've been working on this thing since last November. I'm not sure what inspired it really. This is one of the rare times that I drew exactly what I set out to draw. That is always difficult for me for some reason. Probably goes back to that "running too much on inspiration" thing I mentioned earlier.

My job deals a lot with machines and I actually enjoy it. I'm used to seeing metal, rivets, nuts and bolts, and hydraulic lines, so I incorporated them into my art here.

The lotus flowers seemed out of place and far too plain when I added them next to the mechanical features of the koi. After a little thinking, I decided to go with an antique lamp look. My grandmother had one of those antique stained glass looking lamps, so I used those as a reference. I eventually want to draw a dragon to match it, but that will have to wait until I've cleared my commission list.

Love you to the moon and back

Last but not least! Here's the latest artwork. This isn't the whole thing and it actually can't even be finished until after the wedding. It's a guestbook idea that actually came from pinterest but my friend here had me do my own spin on it.

I told her I'd do it and decided to have it done in watercolor but didn't stop to think that I haven't actually seriously used watercolor paint. I don't think that el cheapo watercolors when I was ten years old really counts as practice. So I may have panicked a little.

I watched a few tutorials, grabbed a few supplies and just hoped that it would turn out okay. I'm happy to say that she loves it and not too many people could tell that I'm a total watercolor n00b. What can I say? I learn really fast. I have to. If I had to list a skill as my best asset, it wouldn't even be art, it would be the ability to bullshit like I know what I'm doing until I actually do know what I'm doing.

In any case, that's all I have for the moment. It makes me happy that this is the most artwork that I've updated in a while. I'm getting more time to do it these days since I ditched that old job and found this one. I just... feel better. It's amazing how much your job affects your life. Since ditching my old job and getting with this new one I've lost nearly 20 pounds, I've completed four more artworks and sketched many more, and I've signed up for the most conventions I've ever done in one year.

Speaking of conventions, I've also updated my convention schedule page. If you know of any that I may be interested in, feel free to comment! I'm always looking for more!

Talk to you again soon!

Spark, out.

To The Anti-Parent American

"Having kids is a choice. Can't have sympathy for anyone who willingly invites misery into their lives."

Some asshole said this, and then asked me to explain why this thought process is wrong and a problem. This is what I have to say to them and people like them:

To the childless elitists: 

Your thought process is wrong because it is you that makes the system so rigged. It is people like you that make it hard because you've never been in the situation to know anything about it. It's people like you that think a woman can go back to work the day after popping out a baby because you don't care to understand. You are the reason why there is no sympathy for a woman that had a good career until she got pregnant and laid off.

You and people like you are enablers for this broken system of parent haters. The shamers, the little green-eyed monsters that think that maternity leave is a vacation, the little selfish brats that think that the woman or man leaving work early to take care of a puking five-year-old is just the same as taking the day off to go relax by the pool. You perpetuate the cycle and care nothing about fixing it because it's "Not your problem."

The problems I am having as a parent are not simply money oriented. Financially I am doing just fine. There are many problems in society that you will not notice until you become a parent and people like you are a large part of that problem because you refuse to acknowledge it. Not having children does not make you smarter. Your unwillingness to really understand a parent makes you blissfully ignorant to the problems that you perpetuate with your snooty attitude. Remember, parents remember what it was like to be you. They were childless once. However, you don't know what it's like to be them.

My child is not misery, children are not the cause of misery. 

America has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the developed world, we also have the least family leave and the biggest gap between the happiness of childless people and the happiness of parents.

And this is your fault.

Shaming parents for having kids is your fault, the deteriorating condition of family life in America is your fault, the link between being a parent and being miserable is your fault. Don't want to have kids? Fine, that's your choice, but you are no smarter, no wiser, and no better than any parent just because you made that decision.

You won't wake up and smell the roses until these kids who have had a hard family life - thanks to you - end up running the country. You won't think about it until these kids are taking care of you in the old folks home. I guess you had better hope that you die long before you need that kind of help. I suppose you could also hope that their parents managed to install a good moral compass during the time they weren't working their asses off, or just maybe you could change your attitude before it gets to that point.

This is why your thought process is wrong and this is why you need to stop turning your nose up at the problems facing kids and parents today just because you aren't one.

You and your ignorance and your elitist bullshit are holding back the whole damn country!

The world that the future generations are growing up in is EVERYONE'S PROBLEM.



Next time I promise to have an art related post but I just had to get this one off my chest.

Spark, out.

New Artwork, New Year, New Job

As of right now I'm snowed in, so I had time yesterday to work on something. I wasn't feeling particularly like anything so I just painted and whatever came out of it I rolled with it. Not a bad idea. It's not getting a lot of love but I enjoyed painting it anyway.

Andromeda. You can see more at my DeviantArt page. :D Prints of this are also available.

I'm feeling a lot better these days. I have started hitting the gym every day even if I just run on a treadmill for 30 minutes. Personally I like weight training so I've tried to do as much of that as possible. Only two weeks at the gym and I already feel much better and my gut is visibly shrinking. Hooray!!

F*** you, F*** you, F***you, You're Cool, F*** you, I'm out.

I also managed to snag myself a new job! That's right, I am finally getting away from this soul sucking pit of hell. Two weeks from now, I will officially have my weekends back! Now I can spend some time with my baby, AND do significantly more artwork.

That resignation letter was the shortest one I think I have ever written. You know what they say, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all... obviously I didn't have much of anything nice to say. I am doing all I can NOT to send a mass e-mail with the scene from Half-Baked in it. That would definitely be frowned upon and it's not that I hate everyone there. Just like... one or two people. The job itself is much worse than the people I work with.

I'm looking forward to having more time in the new year to actually be a mom, get to more artwork and complete projects for once.

This couldn't have come from me... Too adorable.

In other news... Alex got to see her first snowfall,it was adorable. She's killing me with cuteness.

JUST LOOK AT THE CUTE!

Anyway, I'm out until I have something else to show lol.

I want to thank all of my current followers for still watching out for my posts. Thanks so much! I know I'm slow and not always coming out with new stuff but any little bit of support helps. I appreciate it.

Spark, out.

Hard Times: Finding Time

Hey everyone, just letting you guys know I'm still alive!

Feast your eyes on this CUTENESS!!

As of right now I haven't completed any artwork in ages. It's not really got much to do with having a baby. I know that people will tell you all the time that having a baby will cramp your style. You have to give up everything for the baby. That is really only partially true. She's nine months old now and while I do have to sacrifice a lot of me time for her, I actually feel like I don't get enough time with her.

This is how she wakes up...

I actually enjoy being a parent. Everything she does is cute (Except the pooping ... that's not cute.) I really don't feel as burdened as people told me I would. I even had someone tell me that my life was over because I had a child. No, no, on my rare days off I can take her out places. Sure it takes me longer to get out the door but she's plenty portable and really enjoys getting out.

I take her everywhere.

I suppose I also got lucky and have probably one of the happiest, most well behaved babies on the face of the planet. So far, I have never had to take her screaming out of a restaurant and at the moment she mostly sleeps through the night. She wakes up SMILING every day for crying out loud! I wish I could do that!

I could not have even imagined a more perfect child.

The only thing she didn't like was Santa.

I think I can live with that, she'll probably get me back in a few years.

She wasn't looking at the camera she was looking at me.

My life with a child is just fine.

The soul-sucking, time-destroyer is my current job.

It's awful and I hate it. I have a hard time even getting out of bed in the morning because I dread it that much. Every time I pull into the parking lot and realize that the building hasn't been burned down overnight, I just want to cry. I have been working overtime every week. I can't get away from overtime. I work six and seven days a week. Seriously there are some weeks, I walk into the break room and see the schedule and I don't even have a single day off for the whole week.

Don't even get me started on the fumes in that place. Plastic injection molding plant with no ventilation? They're asking for a lawsuit and I feel like complete crap when I get home. I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to get much of anything done until I can ditch this job for something that pays more and actually gives their employees more than just one day off a week.

I work so much that I feel like I don't even get enough time with my daughter. Before the Christmas break, she would treat my grandmother like she was her mother instead of me, because I was gone so much and my grandmother takes care of her while I'm a work. It was heart breaking. I was so depressed I felt like just driving my car into the nearest telephone pole on the way into work because I didn't want to be there. This job makes me feel like a failure. I've failed to get a good job, and thanks to this job I'm also failing at being a mother. One of the most natural things ever and I can't even do that because this god-forsaken job is in the way.

I need a scanner so bad.

The holiday was a much needed break, but it's gone right back to the way it was and I'm honestly not
sure that I can take it much longer. Luckily I've got a few job prospects lined up now that it's the beginning of the year and a lot of places are looking into hiring. I just need to actually get hired by one of them. I've got three chances to get hired in the next two weeks, someone's gotta take me so hopefully this debacle will be over shortly and I can get back to doing some artwork.

I've been sketching some when I can find a spare moment. Over the past few months the only thing I have worth showing is an anime style original character and a steampunk koi fish.

Well I guess that's some kind of progress since I rarely do my own line work. If anyone can help me figure out Adobe Illustrator, I'll be forever grateful! I want to turn the koi into a t-shirt design because I think it could be a hit.

I like it anyway and I don't usually like my own things.

Anyway, hopefully next time I'll have something to show and I can start making updates for just artwork. That's what I eventually want to do with this blog. An article every week, and two purely art posts. I haven't given up yet! Just give it another month...

Spark, out.

Question: Google Yourself?

Alright so maybe I'm not interesting enough to ask questions, I've already kind of abandoned the idea of a Q and A entry.

So instead of asking me a question, I'm going to ask all of you a question.

So big question of the day, have you ever Google'd yourself? Do you ever find things that you didn't quite expect? Use the google image search and tell me, which of your artworks do you find are the most widespread?

I know when I first got on DeviantArt back in high school, you could Google my user name and you would find nothing. Nothing but my DA page and maybe my Facebook page or Gaia Online profile. (yep, I was fourteen years old when I signed up there, that was when Gaia was in it's heyday.)

Things have changed now though. Thanks to Google's reverse image search, I've found all sorts of crazy things. Apparently my art has gotten more attention than I realized over the years. Especially the more recent pieces.

Here's a little story about one of the more amusing cases I've found for myself.

Boy have I got a surprise for you guys.

"Broken Trinity" (Pencils by Ace Continuado) has gotten around quite a bit. That piece made it to tumblr and pinterest before I ever did. People seem to love editing this one and taking their own spin on it. It's partially my fault that I didn't seem to color it clearly enough. You see the picture to the left is how it is presented all over the internet. Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, everyone seems to like this idea.

You know which idea I'm talking about too. The idea that there's some crazy battle going on and Superman is down for the count and wonder woman is there to save him. Well we've cropped out a small detail here.


This next image here is the full version from my DeviantArt page. Look closely and what do you see?  The name of the piece is "Broken Trinity," not "Broken Duo"

Broken Trinity as seen on my deviantART page.

 And this is what everyone seems to be missing... Or leaving out as the case may be.

He's in a better place now....

You see it now? Yep, you got it people. That's Batman, he's dead, and that murder weapon should look vaguely familiar for any Wonder Woman fan.

So now you have it, the truth behind my most wildly popular color job. Wonder Woman just won a battle royal with Batman and Superman.

This is an interesting development though. I mean let's face it, this is kinda morbid. Either someone legitimately missed the detail and thought Wonder Woman was saving Superman, or someone chose to ignore that detail and see only what they wanted to see by cropping it out.

I'm thinking about this too hard aren't I?

Anyways that concludes our short little entry this week. Hopefully next week I can talk about my big project!

Thanks for reading! Also, feel free to share about any time that you've ever Google'd yourself!

Until next week.

Spark, out.

Sailing On: Winds of Change

Hello again!

No, I'm not dead. Things could be better but I'm certainly not dead lol.

A lot has happened since my last blog update! I'm not talking about small changes either. There have been quite a few large ones.

The Job Front

As most of you know I was laid off last year. I didn't manage to make art a career before my job at the gun factory left. Supposedly I had until August of this year, but they decided almost last minute that my last day of work there would be December 13th 2014. This was especially frustrating for me because it meant that I would be stuck looking for employment while five months pregnant. Even in this day and age, when everyone speaks of equality, you can expect to have a very hard time finding work as a pregnant woman.

Step into my office...

Fortunately, I didn't have to worry about being unemployed for very long. I found another job at a fab shop only a week after being laid off. I rather enjoyed my work. Even though the benefits were lacking and the pay wasn't what I had gotten used to at my previous job, the people were nice and the atmosphere was very relaxed. I couldn't have found a more perfect place to work while expecting. Even more helpful was the fact that I picked up skills beyond working as a gunsmith. My boss even bought me books to study up on, which was very nice of him. It wasn't without its struggles though. I have a feeling some of the guys at the shop thought I was a sympathy hire. Hell, even if I did get hired out of sympathy for my situation I am totally not complaining. For someone without a college degree, experience is almost priceless. I was able to get away from solely working in the gun industry.

Don't get me wrong, it's so cool to be able to call yourself a gunsmith. Unfortunately it's such a niche occupation. Sure, this is the dirty South, there's a gun shop on every corner that would hire a gunsmith. But that's the thing, most places only need one or two and aside from the gun shop or a gun manufacturer, no employer around really cares how well you deal with guns. And the politics! Ugh! It gets exhausting to hear it around the work place every time some politician gets too big for his pants and decides to wage war on your way of life. For most people, it's not every day that some political dingbat reveals some plan to destroy their living, but for a gunsmith it's a regular thing.

Anyway, just when you thought life couldn't throw me another curve ball, right after the birth of my adorable baby girl, the company I worked for announced that it was moving away as well. If I hadn't already been contacted by an old coworker about a job, I probably would have been laid off for the second time within the course of a year.

Which brings me to where I am now, working quality control at a factory that deals in plastics. (truthfully I'm not feeling it... but it's work.) I'm still determined to do this art thing for a living, but until then it looks like I'm stuck with the smell of burned plastic every day.

BABY!

Alexandria Michele Altenkirch. Born April 3, 2015

So the last time you heard from me I was expecting a baby. Well she's here! And she's the most adorable baby on the face of the planet! (Oh no I'm not biased, not at all.)

I will admit that I was afraid of the whole birthing thing. I wasn't looking forward to that particular detail but it wasn't exactly avoidable. Thank God for modern medicine though! For the most part I feel like I got off easy. However, once the epidural wore off I wanted it back. Oh, the things no one ever tells you about having a baby. Specifically: the recovery. I thought, nah, I don't need six weeks, I can come back to work after like... three.

Now I can be close while I work

!

Needless to say, that definitely didn't happen. When they tell you six weeks of recovery, they mean it. I needed all of it. During my recovery I did manage to do a little artwork, finally breaking my artless streak, which pretty much lasted the whole duration of my pregnancy.

But hey! Look what I got out of it: A little girl lovingly named Alexandria. I love her to death, she's just so adorable and making her smile is the highlight of my day! She's growing like a weed and at two months old she's already outgrown some of her little outfits. Being a parent is something I never really saw myself doing and being responsible for another life is just terrifying sometimes but I think I'm getting the hang of this Mom thing.

Convention Update

Although I had plans to go, I didn't ever actually make it to MAGfest. I did, however, make it to Animazement again this year.

Unfortunately this was the worst year at my home convention yet. It seemed that I was somehow just invisible. I had next to no sales, I was lucky to break even. Everything that could have gone wrong did. I already hadn't been doing well in sales (the first time ever I made less on a Saturday than on Friday.) and to make matters even worse, a friend of mine knocked a cup of coffee over and it spilled all over the remaining prints. It was a total disaster.

This was quite literally the best part of the weekend.

 I actually had more fun exploring Raleigh than I had at the actual con. I don't know, somewhere I feel like maybe I lost the Anime crowd. I don't watch many of those shows anymore and the ones that I do watch are pretty obscure or just old. I mean Gargantia on the Verdurous Planet, Knights of Sidonia (ah netflix...), Utawarerumono? Anyone ever hear of them? Psycho Pass is probably the newest and most mainstream thing I've watched and actually liked. Where did Rurouni Kenshin ever go? I still see some Inuyasha hanging around, Sailor Moon never really seems to lose popularity but I was never really a fan. Full Metal Panic! Anyone? I feel like I haven't seen anything for that in years. I never really saw much fan art for it anyway.

So yeah... maybe I'm just not with it anymore.  I've decided to shift focus, and thanks to a fellow artist alley goer, I managed to sign up in time to make it into artist alley at NC Comic Con in November this year. Gonna be on the look out for more conventions to sign up for. Maybe NYCC one year? ;D (I can dream.)

Art Updates!

 I the job that I held up until I had Alex was so laid back that I did a couple of sketches. They're not my usual fare but maybe I'll paint them at some point. I did always tell my grandma I'd paint an owl for her one day. I've been working on my own line work for a while now. I'm actually pretty happy looking at some of my art. I mean, it's not perfect but the last three pieces I completed were completely my own. Making a little progress there!

I've also picked up a project, which I'm currently working on with Nga. I'm not going to go into major detail about it but I'll release a little information as I get permission to. It's gonna be awesome! So far it's hard work trying to balance a full time job, a new baby and art. I'll have to do it if I want to keep it up though.

I know I introduce myself as a colorist most often, but I have a confession to make... I have never actually colored frames. I'm not sure exactly how to keep colors consistent. It's alright everyone involved knows this is really my first try so It's bound to be a learning experience.


Now that you've read this wall of text (or at least some of it.) I will leave the blog open for questions! If you're curious about anything (so long as it's appropriate) please feel free to ask!  Anything from favorite music to what programs and tools I use for my artwork. I'll do my best to answer questions Thursday of next week if there's enough interest.

For now, I'll leave you guys with a few of my newest sketches and artworks. Remember, I am on more social media than just blogger! Check the websites and contact info tab on my blog to follow me on Twitter, Instagram, DeviantART, and a few others.

Until next week!

Spark, out.

Life: It Happened

So for those of you that were reading regularly, I am sorry for the long absence.  Life struck and I have been nowhere close to a computer for quite some time.  The past two months have been absolutely inundated with large events.  So we'll start at the beginning.  This may be a pretty long blog post.  Just a warning. 

BABY NEWS!

Some of you may already know this bur for those of you who don't, here it is!  Around the same time as Otakon I found out some really important, and kind of unexpected news.  I'm pregnant!  My husband and I will be expecting our first child around the first of April next year.  That has definitely preoccupied my mind quite a bit.  Not that I'm panicking or that I don't want kids.  They were going to happen sooner or later.  While I say that this was a surprise, it wasn't exactly an accident. 

So far I'm around five months along and we already know the sex of the baby.  It's gonna be a girl!  We've got a first name picked out, the last name is obvious, but a middle name isn't really coming so easy.  My husband wants to use my middle name, but I don't like that idea.  I didn't like that both of my parents name me after themselves, I didn't want to do the same to my own child.  So the middle name is still up in the air.  (suggestions in the comments are greatly appreciated! I'd love to hear some!)

Little Alexandria Altenkirch

For a while I was also worried that I would be a detached parent.  I'm not sure if it's due to my upbringing or what, but I have a tendency to be very... distant.  I thought, "what if I see my baby as just a thing?  Not a tiny human, but a thing that simply cries, barfs, and poops everywhere?  Wouldn't that make me a terrible parent?  What if I'm just as awkward around my own child as I am other children and even adults?"

The last ultrasound definitely pushed me a little further over that hurdle, as well as the fact that I can feel her moving now.  I've become quite paranoid of anything happening to her, even if she does like to randomly assault my bladder.  Nothing quite compares to that  ultrasound where you can see your baby's little head, and her hands and feet.  You can see your baby in real time respond to things happening outside your belly and it really starts to put things into a different perspective for you.

Over all I am definitely excited, just a little anxious for the future.  I will do the best I can to be a good parent and I know my husband will too.  I couldn't be happier for the supportive friends and the few family members that I have that have been very supportive as well.

CAR ACCIDENT

Before....

Now this one is sort of embarrassing.  I wrecked my car.  It all happened in the dumbest way possible too.  I ran a red light and smacked another vehicle and to this day I couldn't tell you how in the hell I missed the fact that the light was red.

Luckily it wasn't a terrible accident.  The car is still drivable and shockingly everything on it still works even though it suffered frame damage.  The air bags didn't go off, I didn't even get a bruise from my seat belt and the baby is just fine.  I'll be forever grateful that the car has some amazingly strong brakes!

This happened at the beginning of September so I wasn't even pregnant enough to show yet, which is probably a good thing.  All in all it wasn't a super traumatizing experience and no one suffered any injury.

However I've been pretty damn depressed about it all.  This was my first ever vehicle and it was still functioning well and it still looked perfectly fine up until I wrecked it.  The car is nearly 16 years old and I've owned it for the past eight years.  I used to wash and wax this car at least once a month.  I could shine it to such a finish, that the sunlight reflecting off of it could blind you.  I was proud of my car and I had been through a lot with it.

Now it looks like it's had a stroke.  I bought a new bumper for it, which has no paint on it and it's lopsided due to the frame being twisted ever so slightly.  The hood, and the headlights are both transplants from junkyard vehicles, one of them is foggier than the other ... holy crap this poor vehicle!  I feel so terrible for having wrecked it.  Mechanically, the only thing that was wrong with it was a busted radiator, which was replaced.  I still drive it and I still talk to it and love it, but looking makes me feel so guilty!  The inside is also a mess now, and still filled car parts that have yet to be replaced...

I did take the time off to go get the parts from the junkyard myself.  I normally go to the junk yard with my husband but this time it was my mess and I didn't feel like dragging him with me.  Being a petite woman in a junk yard, alone, now that was an experience in itself, which I may post an entry about later.  The way some of the men there acted upon seeing me you'd think they had just found a unicorn.

JOB LEAVING SOONER THAN EXPECTED

Yep, it is sad, and it has some terrible timing considering the baby.  I somehow knew that this would happen though.  I didn't want to believe it but, as my grandmother always said, "that's the way the ball bounces."  Work was getting pretty slow.  We were supposed to focus on a new product this year.  So much counted on these new products, and they never worked.  Last year work was plentiful, sometimes almost too much to handle.  We worked overtime until we were sick of it.  There were days during the winter that we never saw sunlight because we quite literally worked from sun up, to sun down.

We were supposed to launch something like two completely new products to keep us busy up until the lease on our building was finished in August of 2015.  They had hired a large number of temps to deal with this ramp-up in production, which should have happened as early as last year.  To put it bluntly, it never even almost happened.  The products in question still don't work to this day.  In the course of a year, we went from making millions monthly, to losing hundreds of thousands every month.

Due to this massive, corporate failure to function, my job will not longer exist as of December 13th, 2014.  Yes folks, that's about two weeks from now.  I think someone needed to explain to some of these guys that "give or take a few months" shouldn't translate into "give or take nearly an entire year."  If these morons were competent enough to plan more than two weeks ahead, this could have been avoided and I wouldn't be looking for a new job while nearly six months pregnant.  Your actions sometimes have adverse effects on other people kids, remember that.

Even though I really want to wash my hands clean of this company forever, I did have an interview for a graphic design position with them and maybe I'll get it.  The opportunity is great.  I mean let's be honest here, I didn't even expect to get an interview.  With my lack of experience as well as the fact that I have no college degree I'm shocked that I'm even in the running.  The design team seem like very nice people, and the interview I had with them was a far cry from the stiff, stuck up, know-it-all attitudes of most of the corporate people I had dealt with already.  I had to give some real thought to answering questions and giving my take on the scenarios presented to me.  If that kind of critical thinking is involved for this job then I have a feeling that I would love it.

Unfortunately, as well as the negative connotation I already have for this company, moving six hours away doesn't appeal to me either.  I don't want to uproot my husband and make him start over.  Again.  He's not from here, he's only been living in this area for about eight years now, and now that he's established with friends and my family, I feel like it would be unfair to him to make him move.

Even with all the negatives, I don't want to let my fear of the unknown keep me from finally having something that could create a more stable and enjoyable future, not only for myself, but for my family.  If I could chase this opportunity, I could actively support myself, my upcoming child, possibly even my spouse too.  We wouldn't have to go without and I could finally break out of treading the poverty line.  There's also the hope that once the company consolidates, maybe they'll finally get their shit together and things will get better.  Seems like a win/win situation but there's always more to it isn't there?

This is extremely conflicting to me.  I'm really not sure what to do.  It's overwhelming at times and this would explain quite a lot why I've been lacking in motivation lately.  I've been quite depressed and conflicted and I haven't finished a single art piece since the beginning of August.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

I do have a few things to look forward to.  I had applied for MAGfest earlier in the year.  I was wait-listed but it seems that I may be going anyway!  A friend of mine scored a table and has offered to share that, as well as her hotel room.  I couldn't be happy enough to have such awesome friends!  I'll keep everyone updated as I get more info on this.

http://magfest.org/ visit it.

This is a bit of a pick-me-up since I'm excited to get back on the convention trail so early.  It's also a bit of a wake up call.  I need to get some more artwork done!  I still have a commission waiting in the wings to be finished and once I finish that I will be focusing on painting.  Actual painting, with acrylic paint on canvas.   I haven't decided exactly what I'm going to do with them yet but I have a stock pile of traditional art supplies from the years of Christmas gifts I have yet to use.  I should really stop wasting it.

The originals will be available in art auctions at conventions this coming year!

I won't be attending any conventions, February through April, due to baby.  I've been advised not to travel past seven months.  This does leave me time to apply for Animazement again at the end of may and I would love nothing more than to do Artist Alley at Animazement for a fourth year in a row.  It is by far my favorite convention to attend.

Keep an eye out!  I plan to start live streaming again in the near future as well!  This will probably especially pick up after the holiday season once I'm out of this dreadful apartment and into something more spacious and better kept.

Once again, I'd like to thank anyone and everyone who reads, for reading.  It does feel better to get some of this stuff off my chest sometimes.

Hopefully my next entry will have some more artwork for you guys!

Until next week!

Spark, out.